An adoption update from January 2013
We got daughters for Christmas.
We found out about them the day before Halloween when our adoption specialist sent us a profile describing them. Two girls. The funny thing about this process is you make a life-long decision based on a paragraph. Or two if you're lucky. The caseworkers write these vague profiles and often don't include pictures. You are asked to decide if you want to submit your home study to be considered as their adoptive parents, sight-unseen. I would never in a million years buy a car or even a pair of shoes this way, but that's how the adoption process works when you go through the foster care system. Luckily, something about the profile stood out and I felt intrigued enough to send our home study.
We were given a more detailed profile which detailed the who, what, when, where, and why of how the girls came to be wards of the state. No "red flags" seemed to present themselves, so we continued to move forward and pray for God's will. Sometime after that we also received a photo of them. They were adorable and my heart did a little pitter-patter. I think that must be the feeling expectant moms feel when they see that first ultrasound image of their developing baby on the screen.
A few weeks later we were given the invitation to interview with the staffing team to be considered as the adoptive parents. We said yes....but then had to wait until December 17 for our interview. I'm a terrible wait-er. A month of waiting seemed horrendous to my impatient soul. The staffing came and was very comfortable. I didn't want to be too cocky, but it felt like we nailed it. We were hopeful as we made the long drive back home. The caseworker called the next day saying we had been selected...we had been selected to parent two girls we had never met. Talk about a strange feeling.
Due to the timing of things, we decided to meet them that weekend and, if all went well, pick them up the following weekend to bring them home. The first meeting exceeded our expectations completely. They were more sweet and adorable than we ever dreamed. Because the first meeting was so comfortable, the girls joined us the next day for our family gathering -- which was also a big success. We missed them a lot during the week in between meeting them and picking them up. They celebrated their last Christmas without us during that week.
Our "Gotcha Day" was on December 29th. They came with a LOT of stuff. I've never seen so many clothes. And Barbies. A week and a half into their life with us they decided to start calling us "mom" and "dad". A month into it, they have decided on new names for themselves. They are excited about adoption and eagerly share the news with others. It's been a fun process to see unfold as they get more comfortable and make decisions about their own futures.
They are such entertaining, funny girls. They have all the drama that I expected with girls, of course, along with a lot more farting and burping than I ever dreamed little girls could do. Our house is full of energy and laughter...and occasionally tears and sibling rivalry. It's all very normal and feels pretty natural, as though they've always been here.
For now we are in the process of waiting for the judge and caseworker and others to do their part to finalize some things. This is what is considered a "legal risk placement", meaning it's mostly a done-deal, but not completely. In theory, it could still fall through. Sometime soon, a judge will rule to terminate their biological parents' rights (if all goes as planned). Sometime after that (probably late this summer), the judge will set a date for the adoption hearing and it will all become legal. Until then, we wait and put Bandaids on boo-boos and bake cookies and play Sorry! and read bedtime stories and ride bikes and all that other stuff which parenting entails. I'm sure more updates will follow as we pass more milestones in the process.
We found out about them the day before Halloween when our adoption specialist sent us a profile describing them. Two girls. The funny thing about this process is you make a life-long decision based on a paragraph. Or two if you're lucky. The caseworkers write these vague profiles and often don't include pictures. You are asked to decide if you want to submit your home study to be considered as their adoptive parents, sight-unseen. I would never in a million years buy a car or even a pair of shoes this way, but that's how the adoption process works when you go through the foster care system. Luckily, something about the profile stood out and I felt intrigued enough to send our home study.
We were given a more detailed profile which detailed the who, what, when, where, and why of how the girls came to be wards of the state. No "red flags" seemed to present themselves, so we continued to move forward and pray for God's will. Sometime after that we also received a photo of them. They were adorable and my heart did a little pitter-patter. I think that must be the feeling expectant moms feel when they see that first ultrasound image of their developing baby on the screen.
A few weeks later we were given the invitation to interview with the staffing team to be considered as the adoptive parents. We said yes....but then had to wait until December 17 for our interview. I'm a terrible wait-er. A month of waiting seemed horrendous to my impatient soul. The staffing came and was very comfortable. I didn't want to be too cocky, but it felt like we nailed it. We were hopeful as we made the long drive back home. The caseworker called the next day saying we had been selected...we had been selected to parent two girls we had never met. Talk about a strange feeling.
Due to the timing of things, we decided to meet them that weekend and, if all went well, pick them up the following weekend to bring them home. The first meeting exceeded our expectations completely. They were more sweet and adorable than we ever dreamed. Because the first meeting was so comfortable, the girls joined us the next day for our family gathering -- which was also a big success. We missed them a lot during the week in between meeting them and picking them up. They celebrated their last Christmas without us during that week.
Our "Gotcha Day" was on December 29th. They came with a LOT of stuff. I've never seen so many clothes. And Barbies. A week and a half into their life with us they decided to start calling us "mom" and "dad". A month into it, they have decided on new names for themselves. They are excited about adoption and eagerly share the news with others. It's been a fun process to see unfold as they get more comfortable and make decisions about their own futures.
They are such entertaining, funny girls. They have all the drama that I expected with girls, of course, along with a lot more farting and burping than I ever dreamed little girls could do. Our house is full of energy and laughter...and occasionally tears and sibling rivalry. It's all very normal and feels pretty natural, as though they've always been here.
For now we are in the process of waiting for the judge and caseworker and others to do their part to finalize some things. This is what is considered a "legal risk placement", meaning it's mostly a done-deal, but not completely. In theory, it could still fall through. Sometime soon, a judge will rule to terminate their biological parents' rights (if all goes as planned). Sometime after that (probably late this summer), the judge will set a date for the adoption hearing and it will all become legal. Until then, we wait and put Bandaids on boo-boos and bake cookies and play Sorry! and read bedtime stories and ride bikes and all that other stuff which parenting entails. I'm sure more updates will follow as we pass more milestones in the process.
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