Hands-Off!
A little backstory regarding my history -- I have a master's degree in social work and over the course of my career I have seen and heard some really awful things that happen to children. It has hardened my view of a lot of things and made me much more cautious than the average momma bear.
With that said, I'd like to ask you men out their to keep your hands off my daughters. I'm being totally serious here. Don't tickle them or wrestle with them or horse around in a physical way. If you want to hug them, then make it a short hug -- preferably a side hug. Or better yet, a high-five. Especially if you are an adult male who my girls don't know very well. I'm not necessarily concerned that you personally plan to molest my sweet girls, but I know that tickling and playful wrestling are one strategy used by pedophiles to groom their victims. And I don't want them to wonder whether or not you are safe.
Most pedophiles aren't strangers. They are people known well by their victims (fathers or step-fathers, uncles, cousins, brothers, coaches, neighbors, etc.). If they didn't know them well before, then the pedophile makes themselves known through the grooming process. They are friendly, often charming people who know how to make children feel comfortable in the beginning stages of the process. Most pedophiles look for children who have some unmet need in their lives, like a child with a low self-esteem or whose parents aren't always around. Then they provide things that will tap into the unmet need: attention, gifts, affection, affirmation and fun. When the offender-victim relationship begins -- and often throughout the entirety of the relationship -- the offender is seen as a friend, confidant, or even "savior". The relationship often makes the child feel special, like they matter. All so the pedophile can continue to do increasingly offensive things to the child.
In a nutshell here's why I don't want you to wrestle or tickle my girls……because I don't want them to be confused, thinking of those behaviors as harmless. I want them to clearly recognize that sometimes tricky people use friendly behaviors to trick children into harmful situations. If an adult (or even teenager) starts touching them in a way that seems friendly (like tickling) and then things escalate to something more sinister (like a hand on the upper thigh or under a shirt) I want them to recognize right away that the situation isn't safe so they can get away and get help.
My girls are currently in a good situation with parents who are paying attention to their needs; but their "past life" has set them up with certain unmet emotional needs which, unfortunately, make them more vulnerable to tricky people. Honestly in this day and age, my girls aren't the only ones who are vulnerable to abuse. So you might just want to keep your tickling and physical horsing around to yourself (or at least with your own kids).
With that said, I'd like to ask you men out their to keep your hands off my daughters. I'm being totally serious here. Don't tickle them or wrestle with them or horse around in a physical way. If you want to hug them, then make it a short hug -- preferably a side hug. Or better yet, a high-five. Especially if you are an adult male who my girls don't know very well. I'm not necessarily concerned that you personally plan to molest my sweet girls, but I know that tickling and playful wrestling are one strategy used by pedophiles to groom their victims. And I don't want them to wonder whether or not you are safe.
Most pedophiles aren't strangers. They are people known well by their victims (fathers or step-fathers, uncles, cousins, brothers, coaches, neighbors, etc.). If they didn't know them well before, then the pedophile makes themselves known through the grooming process. They are friendly, often charming people who know how to make children feel comfortable in the beginning stages of the process. Most pedophiles look for children who have some unmet need in their lives, like a child with a low self-esteem or whose parents aren't always around. Then they provide things that will tap into the unmet need: attention, gifts, affection, affirmation and fun. When the offender-victim relationship begins -- and often throughout the entirety of the relationship -- the offender is seen as a friend, confidant, or even "savior". The relationship often makes the child feel special, like they matter. All so the pedophile can continue to do increasingly offensive things to the child.
In a nutshell here's why I don't want you to wrestle or tickle my girls……because I don't want them to be confused, thinking of those behaviors as harmless. I want them to clearly recognize that sometimes tricky people use friendly behaviors to trick children into harmful situations. If an adult (or even teenager) starts touching them in a way that seems friendly (like tickling) and then things escalate to something more sinister (like a hand on the upper thigh or under a shirt) I want them to recognize right away that the situation isn't safe so they can get away and get help.
My girls are currently in a good situation with parents who are paying attention to their needs; but their "past life" has set them up with certain unmet emotional needs which, unfortunately, make them more vulnerable to tricky people. Honestly in this day and age, my girls aren't the only ones who are vulnerable to abuse. So you might just want to keep your tickling and physical horsing around to yourself (or at least with your own kids).
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