Keepin' it Real and Keepin' it Real Funny
I'm a pastor's wife. I don't often describe myself that way, but it's true. I am a lot of other things first, like a wife, mother, daughter, teacher, and friend. But, if you want to call me on a technicality, I am indeed a pastor's wife.
The examples I have had for this job weren't very real. Or at least the persona they projected to the world didn't seem very real to me. They kept up appearances for the sake of their husband -- or for the sake of their own sanity so they wouldn't be judged harshly by church members. I never got to know any of these women very well. I'm sure they have close friends who see the "real" woman and not just the one sitting dutifully on the front row. But the women I saw projected in front of the church was one who was serious, holy, reverent, and flawless. They taught Bible studies, spoke at women's retreats, and quietly cared for their children to keep the congregation from noticing them. As far as I could see, these fine ladies kept their opinions to themselves (at least at church) and always put others' needs ahead of their own. None of these characteristics are bad…just maybe not that real.
Real women have unruly kids, have hard questions about their faith, eat too much chocolate, say curse words when they stub their toes on the way back from the bathroom at 2 a.m., and tell our husbands to keep their farts to themselves. I am strong-willed and independent and opinionated and occasionally stubborn. I don't always say the right things and I sure don't have it all figured out.
When my husband started wooing me, we had some serious conversations about the fact that I would never be "that" pastor's wife. I would be lying to the world if I pretended to be perfect from sun-up to sun-down. I decided to make it my mission to be a real person to whom our congregation members could relate. I don't hide my foibles and follies.
But here's the thing. Most of the time when I share my personal struggles or my funny-but-embarrassing stories, I'm doing it intentionally. I want people to know that I'm a real person. I don't sit on some pastoral throne, constantly praying and reading Scripture. I will never be a perfect wife or perfect mother or perfect employee or perfect anything. My children aren't perfect and even my husband (the pastor) isn't perfect. We're human beings, just like the people sitting in all those rows behind us at church. Just like the people who see what I write on Facebook and in my blog posts.
I want people to see that I'm not perfect so that they will know with 100% certainty that they don't have to be perfect either. God doesn't ask us to be perfect before coming to Him. It isn't possible! But, God is working on me, just like He's working on each of us. I'm getting a little better every day.
My motto is to "keep it real and keep it real funny" because when you can laugh at my silly circumstances then maybe it will make you feel a little better about your own silly circumstances. Maybe when you're going through that awful thing you will feel like you can talk to me about it because you know it won't shock me. Judge me if you must, or join me in keepin' it real.
The examples I have had for this job weren't very real. Or at least the persona they projected to the world didn't seem very real to me. They kept up appearances for the sake of their husband -- or for the sake of their own sanity so they wouldn't be judged harshly by church members. I never got to know any of these women very well. I'm sure they have close friends who see the "real" woman and not just the one sitting dutifully on the front row. But the women I saw projected in front of the church was one who was serious, holy, reverent, and flawless. They taught Bible studies, spoke at women's retreats, and quietly cared for their children to keep the congregation from noticing them. As far as I could see, these fine ladies kept their opinions to themselves (at least at church) and always put others' needs ahead of their own. None of these characteristics are bad…just maybe not that real.
Real women have unruly kids, have hard questions about their faith, eat too much chocolate, say curse words when they stub their toes on the way back from the bathroom at 2 a.m., and tell our husbands to keep their farts to themselves. I am strong-willed and independent and opinionated and occasionally stubborn. I don't always say the right things and I sure don't have it all figured out.
When my husband started wooing me, we had some serious conversations about the fact that I would never be "that" pastor's wife. I would be lying to the world if I pretended to be perfect from sun-up to sun-down. I decided to make it my mission to be a real person to whom our congregation members could relate. I don't hide my foibles and follies.
But here's the thing. Most of the time when I share my personal struggles or my funny-but-embarrassing stories, I'm doing it intentionally. I want people to know that I'm a real person. I don't sit on some pastoral throne, constantly praying and reading Scripture. I will never be a perfect wife or perfect mother or perfect employee or perfect anything. My children aren't perfect and even my husband (the pastor) isn't perfect. We're human beings, just like the people sitting in all those rows behind us at church. Just like the people who see what I write on Facebook and in my blog posts.
I want people to see that I'm not perfect so that they will know with 100% certainty that they don't have to be perfect either. God doesn't ask us to be perfect before coming to Him. It isn't possible! But, God is working on me, just like He's working on each of us. I'm getting a little better every day.
My motto is to "keep it real and keep it real funny" because when you can laugh at my silly circumstances then maybe it will make you feel a little better about your own silly circumstances. Maybe when you're going through that awful thing you will feel like you can talk to me about it because you know it won't shock me. Judge me if you must, or join me in keepin' it real.
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